Conversations with Lucien

One of the benefits(or disadvantages) of working with the public is that one gets to interact with people from all walks. Usually, this makes for little more than workplace chatter or at the most, a charming little anecdote to regale friends with when trading CYBTS? (can you believe this shit?)stories. Once in a while though, you get to meet folk you unexpectedly find an affinity with, at least within the frame of your interaction with one another. Lucien was just such an individual. At first glance, I didn’t pay much attention to the nondescript, middle-aged gentleman with the easy-going manner. He approached me and with a distinct, French accent started to not so much ask but rather comment on what had brought him to our premises and how we could help him. After what seemed only a few minutes, our conversation had ranged from topics such as relationships to economics to public health and back again. Mind you, his speech was imbued with the occasional French word or phrase but the message or thought he was conveying did not escape me. One of the topics that I want to touch on here and about which we were later to resume in our conversations, exchanges in which I was mostly the recipient left to silently nod and later brood over, is the relations between the sexes. Keep in mind that what was said didn’t always follow a linear narrative but was rather coughed up amidst a dozen other matters and spread out over a matter of weeks and months.
During our first meeting, he offhandedly mentioned how younger people today have little sense of what commitment means. It surprised him that relationships between people are seen as little more than contracts to be adhered to only as long as it benefited one party. A union between two people was no more solid than the next drunken hook-up and about as lasting as it takes for the baby batter to flake off your drawers. That last analogy was mine, couldn’t resist that one. He wondered what good could come out of this serial lay-hopping and if we all weren’t somehow the poorer for it. Thinking about it all, I could only nod. Isn’t the wasteland that is the SMP littered with entitled, solipsistic or otherwise embittered fembots whose quotidian existence is daily further bolstered by our social and cultural milieu? Aren’t the PUA phenomenon and the MRM a direct consequence of what has transpired between the sexes for at least the last fifty or so years? If the cad mentality and pump ‘n’ dump practices are so commonplace nowadays, isn’t it proper to lay the bulk of the blame at the feet of women and their sexual mating choices? Remember, women are the gatekeepers to sex. It is by the decision as to who they will have sex with that women facilitate the practices that are reinforced and propagated in the SMP. It is by the (mostly unconscious) decision as to who is made invisible or disposable that enable the profligate practices that women so ubiquitously decry. Lucien mentioned that there is very little commitment other than to number one and I agree with him. Looking at my experience though, and that of most of my male friends and acquaintances, it isn’t that men can’t or won’t commit. It’s that the potential commitment held in reserve for women by most of these men is thwarted and spit on with every dick of the Alpha variety they take for a spin and are later slapped to the curb with. Sloppy dozens? Anyone?

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Flakes, flakes!

Flakiness: a topic a lot of men invest too much time and needless energy focusing on and one that most brethren will identify as having experienced to some degree throughout their lives. My take on it is to not put up with any of it, not in any form or manner. Most men know the annoyance of unreturned calls, texts and messages from women in general; the anxiety brought on by a man’s prospects with a particular woman in relation to the length of her silence; the resignation of being Friendzone®’d yet again when you do hear back from her, during which you get to hear all about the BFF’s she had to see; the parties she had committed to attending over the weekend and the band she went to see at the club the night before, all with nary a thought of including you. That’s what I call being appraised, found wanting and discarded thank you very much! Personally, I call bullshit on this state of affairs.
Having lived in Betaville for the majority of my adult life, I can certainly vouch for the relinquishing of autonomy and self-valuation giving in to the whims of flaky females can bring about. Of course, flakiness applies to more than the disregard women show in relating to men. I believe it reflects their whole outlook in how they regard most men, or at least those that don’t make the Alpha cut.
Here is what I propose to level the playing field a little:
During the initial stages of meeting a woman, it’s almost always best to have her offer you her number, e-mail, or whatever form of social media contact she favours. When you ask for her number or facebook details, you’ve already lowered your negotiating status to that of a supplicating underling. You don’t want to start out bargaining your SMP worth. If she doesn’t offer to keep in touch, she’s not interested, plain and simple. Don’t press it.
If you get the details, don’t FB friend her that same night. At least sleep on it. Make it appear as an afterthought, which is what it should be.
Don’t text her more than once. If she doesn’t answer within a few hours (she might be at her job and not be able to use her cell phone, which is the only excuse you should tolerate), cut your losses.
If you don’t hear from her til the next day or (height of disdain) later, bounce. Mercilessly.
This should also apply to any other plates you might be spinning, regardless of spin time frame.
If you invite her out to a group event and she doesn’t show without a prior explanation, chopping-block her ass.
If you set up a date and she is late more than 10 minutes (traffic and lack of parking happen) without an explanatory call (not text), ghost the fuck out. If she shows up after that and messages or calls you, explain to her that you made the effort to be on time and that you expect the same in return.
If you do meet up and you’re competing for her attention with her cell phone, make sure there isn’t a second date.
Basically, you need to position yourself as someone who won’t put up with flakey bullshit. The onus is on her on whether or not you will invest your time and resources in her. Remember that.
Also remember that there is no excuse for communication flakiness, especially during the initial stages of meeting a woman. You need to re-frame the script that’s guiding the action on the SMP stage. For starters, think of a woman’s cell phone as an extension of her body, an appendage she won’t leave home without. And the younger she is, the more this will be the case. Most young women are constantly fiddling with their phones, taking pictures of their food and similarly banal bullshit that they then post on Instagram®. Why would you belittle yourself by getting beat out in her attention bandwidth to the pomegranate and kale salad she had for lunch? It’s a given that the more you fight back against her flakiness by trying to inject yourself into her life, the more definitively you relegate yourself to just being an annoyance to her. The result being that she is the one in the position to exercise and justify her mating choices. Fun, huh?

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None so blind…

I am less and less surprised as time goes by about the hypergamous nature of a lot of women out there. For instance, one of my acquaintances makes it a habit of never staying single for very long. I have known her for slightly over a year and in that time, she has been single for, by my estimate, about less than a couple of weeks. Not only that, she has also managed to fuck three different dudes (that I know of) in that same interval with nary a break between them. Now that to me is textbook definition sluttiness if I’ve ever seen it. Funny thing is, I had erroneously pegged her as a “nice” girl before being regaled with sundry accounts of her promiscuous escapades. It was difficult to decide which was more unsettling: her unabashed sampling of the cock buffet since her late teens (she is now in her mid 20’s) or her nonchalant attitude in sharing this with her peers. One of the “incidents” she shared with me that put her MO in perspective was of her fucking a random guy while abroad within a day of meeting him. How’s that for slutisquity! Sadly, this is pretty much the norm with a lot of women (18-30 crowd) out there. Another girl in the same circle of acquaintances has gone through as many dudes (if not more) during the same length of time. Breaking it down that’s an average of a different sex partner every four months if each only fucked three dudes a year. I suspect the number is realistically closer to being a different cock audition every 3 months on average. By any rational standards that’s nothing less than heinous. Further number crunching would reveal that if the average partner rate of three a year held from the time each of these girls turned eighteen to, say, reaching twenty-three; that’s fifteen different cocks they’ve taken for a spin. Even if the sexual partner a year rate is lowered to two, that’s still ten different dudes they’ve bedded in a five year span. I don’t know about you but a cock count of 10-15 by the time a woman reaches her mid 20’s is nothing to be proud of. Of course, this doesn’t take into account the remaining 5-10+ years society encourages women to ride the cock carousel before they faultlessly transition into Marriage 2.0. Now ain’t that some shit!

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An inauspicious beginning

Correct me if I’m wrong but since when is this kind of thing something to be encouraged? I realize that the father in question wants to be supportive of his son and be a positive example for him but there are other, less injurious ways for him to do so, like keeping him away from playing dress-up with mommie’s wardrobe in the first place. At five years of age, this boy doesn’t fully realize the stigma attached to identifying with a gender other than his biological one, especially when that identification assumes the adornment and visual cues attached to femininity, namely, women’s clothes. At the very least, the further encouragement of this behaviour leaves open the very real possibility of bullying at the hands of the boy’s peers. Of course, this is all speculation on my part. It might just be that this is only a passing phase in the development of the child but is it a behaviour best left to chance to deal with? I get that some parents’ approach is to raise their children without too much gender bias but socialization norms outside the home are pretty much homogenous and unforgiving.
This situation also begs the question of how the boy’s mother fits into this arrangement as no mention is made of her. Is there even a mother present in the boy’s life? What is her stance on the father’s misappropriation of gender-based appearances in relation to her son and the possible gender-identity fallout he might experience later in life? To get a sense of how gender standards hold true for most, consider that having a tomboy for a daughter for most people is mostly a non-issue while a son with these proclivities (throw in his nail painting to boot) is a little more…problematic. Notice too how it was a feminist magazine who initially reported on this interest piece. It would seem that some camps of that ilk aren’t satisfied with emasculating men in thought alone but in deed as well.

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