Against the Feminine

The entry for the word “feminine” in the Oxford dictionary includes the definition:


1. Having qualities or an appearance traditionally associated with women, especially delicacy and prettiness.

Another popular dictionary states:

2. Characteristic of or appropriate or unique to women.

Now, think of the instances in your day to day life that these views on what constitutes the feminine are fostered or discouraged when applied to the women you encounter or have any relation to, whether socially, through work, school or any other sphere where you can interact with them at some level. Chances are that truly feminine women, women that complement a man’s masculinity by dint of their intrinsic nurturing and attractive nature are the exception in the experience of most men.

I have known and met truly feminine women. Increasingly, these women tend to be older, they are women who are not only beautiful physically but also have a way about them, a poise say, a self-confident manner that isn’t contrived or in conflict with the world around them. A woman of my acquaintance comes to mind in this case. I would guess that she is in her early fifties. She is thin but alluringly so. She dresses tastefully with a slightly formal attention to detail but even when casual her clothing looks effortlessly flattering. She always beams me a smile and offers kind words to boot. She is engaging without coming across as insincere and we always have a pleasant exchange. I can count the number of women I know that even remotely resemble this description on both hands. And no, this isn’t pedestalizing on my part. A man who appreciates and recognizes the feminine can’t help but react when in the presence of it, just as a woman who appreciates and acknowledges the masculine will respond in kind. Which leads me to feminism and its sophistic premises, the least of which is its defining monicker. Judging by its name, one would think that feminism as an ideology would promote the qualities of bringing about more femininity in its adherents but if you did, you couldn’t be more wrong. Feminism, at least Fourth Wave feminism, has as its mandate the ignominious task of dismantling what millennia of social, psychological and evolutionary adaptations painstakingly brought about. For them I have nothing but words of encouragement in their task. All they will succeed in doing is to hasten the collapse of their debacle and leave everyone else to pick up the pieces left in their wake.

And how are feminists going about their war on femininity? Well, for starters, by championing  the superfluousness of men as partners in every sense and the self-sufficiency of women in every sphere of life; by advocating that women can do it all just as well or better than any man; by urging women to compete like men but without any of the camaraderie or sportsmanship employed by men to temper such endeavours; by condoning the sexual promiscuity and misandry of women when it comes to mate choice; by dissuading women in their efforts to appear attractive to the opposite sex (if he doesn’t like your excess baggage or your frumpy clothing then he doesn’t deserve you!); by sanctioning the entitlement princess syndrome so prevalent among the population of Western women; by bolstering the belief that a woman can have a family, a career, a rich social life and that men are a detriment to having such things and on it goes.

Women need to understand that the feminine not only attracts the masculine but that it’s opposite, that is to say, churlishness and hostility repels it. Men need to understand that truly feminine women are rare and must be accorded the distinction they deserve.

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